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in the past: ... - 2005-01-23 . - 2005-01-23 =( - 2004-05-17 ip - 2004-04-16 berlin - 2004-03-14 |
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| I have to choose 2003-04-01 @ 23:27 I'm crying. I feel awfull. I just want to die, be thin and be a normal teenager! I know it is impossible, because when I say thin, I mean below 65 pounds, and if my weight going that low I will be so weak that I bearly can walk. But that is my dream. I cry because I know it is an impossible goal. I have to choose, my illness, anorexia, or to live, get recoverd. For a healthy person this will be a easy choise, but for a person with an ED, this is a really difficult choise. I know I'm strange... Why must everything be so hard... I've only been throwing up once today. I'm a bit proud- Only once!! Mybe I'm back to starvation aging? Neh.. thats too good to be true... I've been eating sooo much today. Four chocolates called "kvikk lunsj" and a pizza "grandiosa". I gain really much weight. I'm 92.5 today:-/ FAT!!! |
>>diary ..newest ..older ..rings ..links >>me ..profile ..fans ..pictures >>contact ..notes ..guestbook >>credits ..host ..pixiedesigns Today I feel: I wanna have control I wanna perfect body I wanna perfect soul I want you to notice When I'm not around So fucking special I wish I was special But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. ~Creep - Radiohead~ |
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