in the past:
... - 2005-01-23
. - 2005-01-23
=( - 2004-05-17
ip - 2004-04-16
berlin - 2004-03-14
I have to choose
2003-04-01 @ 23:27

I'm crying. I feel awfull. I just want to die, be thin and be a normal teenager! I know it is impossible, because when I say thin, I mean below 65 pounds, and if my weight going that low I will be so weak that I bearly can walk. But that is my dream. I cry because I know it is an impossible goal. I have to choose, my illness, anorexia, or to live, get recoverd. For a healthy person this will be a easy choise, but for a person with an ED, this is a really difficult choise. I know I'm strange...

Why must everything be so hard...

I've only been throwing up once today. I'm a bit proud- Only once!! Mybe I'm back to starvation aging? Neh.. thats too good to be true...

I've been eating sooo much today. Four chocolates called "kvikk lunsj" and a pizza "grandiosa". I gain really much weight. I'm 92.5 today:-/ FAT!!!

xoxo Nemi

before - after

© Nemi 2002/2003




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